I am another day older. I come onto this site to become inspired... I am procrastinating on all my homework; I am finally in college and I already want to quit. I won't quit though. I have love walk in and out of my life; should I even consider it that? I am fighting life everyday, and sometimes it gets the best of me. I wake tired, and I go to sleep alone and tired. I never dream unless I am laying by the side of another soul who hardly understands me. why is that the only time my dreams are most vivid? when I sit alone I ponder my life and where I am heading. some days I feel reassured and sure of myself, while other days I feel hopeless. I have friends, but their audience is rarely requested. I am alone most of the time facing god above when i need him the most. i wonder why he still even listens to me. i want to be loved, but i don't understand the first thing i want when i have it. who is to be my special someone? where is he, and have i found him yet? should i not concern myself with these things? should i place focus on the lord and ignore life around me as it happens? i know i need to focus and get through my classes, but everything else feels pointless. it's like a game, and no one is having fun. i need to get out of the hole i am aimlessly wandering around in. im in the dark, and im scared. i have casual conversation with those around me but it amounts to nothing to me. im as empty as a rusty can tarnishing in the desert devoid of anything but the wind that howls through me every so often... the eerie sound whistling and moaning through the abyss of my heart. i would cry if i didn't already beat that out of myself.. beauty fades, and my face won't matter. where is the compassion i once seeked in life? am i lost to my own self destruction? am i going about this the wrong way? everyone in my little world seems to put pressure on me so hard. when i want something, people tend to walk away from me. like some people i know. it's true... i am always almost fired from my job, people concern themselves too much in my personal life.... people always want me to do whats right in their eyes.... do i really make that many mistakes? anway. i have to go write an essay....